How to Get a Bikini Body

How to get bikini ready in two easy steps by simply being comfortable and confident in your own skin. No changes to your body necessary. All you'll need is a rocking bikini and some attitude.

Photo Credit: Fit + Flatter / Bikinis: Duch of Dupont

1. Put a Bikini on Your Body

The difference between confidence and arrogance is that with arrogance, you think you are better than everyone, but with confidence, you walk into a room and know that no one is better than you. When I walked into Essex Studio wearing a Duch of Dupont bikini, I felt everything but confident. I felt awkward and uncomfortable in my own skin. I wasn't sure if it was the fact that I put on a few pounds or that I forgot to shave. Regardless of what it was, I wasn't confident like I should have been. I was so focused on what other people would think when I should have been focused on having a good time and embracing my raw, natural beauty. It wasn't until Cardi B started booming through the speaker and the camera starting snapping that I then felt comfortable and confident. It was as if it was only me and the camera and no one else was in the room. I no longer payed attention to people watching or the models next to me because I had achieved a level of confidence many girls have yet to reach. I put a bikini on my body and the rest was history.

2. Love Your Body

Growing up, you could find me wearing oversized tees and other clothes that weren't flattering on my body. I would hide away my figure from my own eyes and other people's. Now, I don't give a damn because I love myself and the skin that covers my soul. I wear what I want, how I want and no one else's opinion matters. Of course since I love my body, I try to nourish and take care of it with health and exercise because self care is so important. My advice to anyone reading this is to first accept your imperfections and flaws. That's the only way to reach self love nirvana is to appreciate what you can not change. Then from there, you can work on bettering yourself in a positive way. Don't just love who you are, love the body you move in!

"There is noting more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty." - Steve Maraboli

Return to Sender

How to move on from someone who doesn’t love you back by loving yourself.

Gave My Love Away

“I’m not saying that I was head over heels in love with you,” he said. He’s words were a sharp knife twisting in my chest as my heart fell to the floor. The last thing I wanted to hear was that the man I was in “love” with, didn’t feel the same way. I had broken rule number 1: love yourself. I ignored all the red flags and gave my heart away to the wrong person. I didn’t value myself above the situation. At the time, I felt so much pain and bitterness that I blamed myself. I felt that somewhere I went wrong and if I could have just tried a little harder, maybe, just maybe he’d love me back. Little did I know that the way someone feels about you has more to do with them and less to do with you. It isn’t your job to figure out why someone doesn’t feel the same way about you. You deserve the love you so freely give. Love is risky. You’re giving your heart away and sometimes you make the mistake of trusting immature people who don’t know how to love you back. I learned that the man I was in love with knew right away that he didn’t want a relationship with me. He took time to confirm what he already knew. When he was ready, he told me what I didn’t know nor wanted to hear.

Value Your Self Worth

The quickest way to lose your self worth is by searching for it in someone else. You don’t find your worth in someone else, you find someone worthy of you. Trust that the right one will one day come along. You have to be patient. In order to allow this to happen, you have to let go of the hurt and pain from the past. Forgive the person that hurt you not for them, but for you to be able to move on and love again. Free yourself from falling in love with a person you could never be with. It’s okay that you tried and you weren’t the one. Speaking from experience, I know it can be hard to move on because you don’t just move on from a person you love.

"Maybe not now. Maybe not tomorrow. But, one day you'll be resting in the arms of someone capable of loving you the way you love them." - R.H Sin

It’s time to move on.

Call it romantic rejection or heart break, it can cause you physical pain. Increased heart rate and muscle tension can almost feel as if your heart is actually damaged. These feelings are completely normal and you deserve time to grieve the loss of what could have been.

There’s a list of things I had to realize in order to move on. I had to accept the fact that I couldn’t control the other person and their feelings. I had to take time away from him and the best way for me to do so was by cutting him off completely. In the process, I ended up hurting him. They say that hurt people hurt people. The situation hurt him regardless because most people don’t enjoy causing other people pain. Afterwards I was bitter and upset. I wanted to cause him to feel the same way I did. Used and disrespected. I realized that hating the other person only hurts yourself. Him friend zoning me didn’t make him a terrible person. You can’t help how you feel. The one thing you can control, is how you feel about yourself. Even though my heart was broken, I’m grateful for it because it was an experience and I was brave enough to love. I learned a lot of lessons from the situation. Now I practice what I should have been practicing before, loving myself.

Table for One

A lesson in dining alone, dating, and loving yourself.

The thought of taking myself out on a date had always intrigued me but I never had the courage to actually do until I did by accident. At an art museum for an art history project, I strolled pass a lovely cafe and I just so happened to be alone. I realized that it was as if I were on a date with myself. The exhibits, the music, and the overall atmosphere seemed almost perfect. At first, I passed the cafe but after a second thought I went in and proudly asked for a table for one. As i sat at the table alone, I observed the cafe and workers. Sitting at the table alone wasn’t as awkward as I expected. I ordered what I wanted without judgement; a vanilla iced latte and a veggie melt. For the first time in a long time, I felt a sense of relief. I could be myself completely and the feeling couldn’t have been more freeing. I spent the rest of the day walking the museum and I felt closer to myself than I had before. I could assess how I was feeling that day by only focusing my energy inward. As an introvert, I enjoy spending time alone, but that day seemed different. I wasn’t lonely because I had myself. Technically, I'm not single, I'm dating myself. I'm on a self love journey.

“Date yourself. Take yourself out to eat. Don't share your popcorn at the movies with anyone. Stroll around an art museum alone. Fall in love with canvases. Fall in love with yourself." - Anonymous

Fall in Love

Consider taking yourself out to eat or buying your own clothes as an opportunity to learn more about yourself. You start to notice things about yourself that only a person who loves you will appreciate. Once you enjoy your own company, you fall in love with everything that you do. That day at the cafe, I romanticized the way my voice softened as I talked to the server or the way I dabbed my lips with my napkin. I became very self aware of everything I did, including the little things.

Ask yourself would you date you. If your standards are higher than the bar you set for yourself than most likely not. In order to find a catch you have to be one. Imagine your ideal partner and put in the same work for yourself. Take a second and examine what you are doing in your life and see if it’s worth dating. Once you love yourself, those around you will be able to feel the love and want to do the same for you.

“If you're single, focus on being a better you instead of looking for someone better than your ex. A better you will attract a better next." - picturequotes.com

While others come and go, you are the only person that will remain.

In the end, all that’s left is you. Spending time alone shouldn’t be lonely since we come into this world alone and we will leave alone. There’s nothing more freeing than enjoying your own company. If you’re able to love yourself, then you’re able to date yourself and explore the world on your own. Take time each day to get to know yourself on an intimate level and as always continue going on your journey towards self love.