Return to Sender

How to move on from someone who doesn’t love you back by loving yourself.

Gave My Love Away

“I’m not saying that I was head over heels in love with you,” he said. He’s words were a sharp knife twisting in my chest as my heart fell to the floor. The last thing I wanted to hear was that the man I was in “love” with, didn’t feel the same way. I had broken rule number 1: love yourself. I ignored all the red flags and gave my heart away to the wrong person. I didn’t value myself above the situation. At the time, I felt so much pain and bitterness that I blamed myself. I felt that somewhere I went wrong and if I could have just tried a little harder, maybe, just maybe he’d love me back. Little did I know that the way someone feels about you has more to do with them and less to do with you. It isn’t your job to figure out why someone doesn’t feel the same way about you. You deserve the love you so freely give. Love is risky. You’re giving your heart away and sometimes you make the mistake of trusting immature people who don’t know how to love you back. I learned that the man I was in love with knew right away that he didn’t want a relationship with me. He took time to confirm what he already knew. When he was ready, he told me what I didn’t know nor wanted to hear.

Value Your Self Worth

The quickest way to lose your self worth is by searching for it in someone else. You don’t find your worth in someone else, you find someone worthy of you. Trust that the right one will one day come along. You have to be patient. In order to allow this to happen, you have to let go of the hurt and pain from the past. Forgive the person that hurt you not for them, but for you to be able to move on and love again. Free yourself from falling in love with a person you could never be with. It’s okay that you tried and you weren’t the one. Speaking from experience, I know it can be hard to move on because you don’t just move on from a person you love.

"Maybe not now. Maybe not tomorrow. But, one day you'll be resting in the arms of someone capable of loving you the way you love them." - R.H Sin

It’s time to move on.

Call it romantic rejection or heart break, it can cause you physical pain. Increased heart rate and muscle tension can almost feel as if your heart is actually damaged. These feelings are completely normal and you deserve time to grieve the loss of what could have been.

There’s a list of things I had to realize in order to move on. I had to accept the fact that I couldn’t control the other person and their feelings. I had to take time away from him and the best way for me to do so was by cutting him off completely. In the process, I ended up hurting him. They say that hurt people hurt people. The situation hurt him regardless because most people don’t enjoy causing other people pain. Afterwards I was bitter and upset. I wanted to cause him to feel the same way I did. Used and disrespected. I realized that hating the other person only hurts yourself. Him friend zoning me didn’t make him a terrible person. You can’t help how you feel. The one thing you can control, is how you feel about yourself. Even though my heart was broken, I’m grateful for it because it was an experience and I was brave enough to love. I learned a lot of lessons from the situation. Now I practice what I should have been practicing before, loving myself.